Ponyboy's Gold
by xcloudx
Summary: Ponyboy is tired of being in Darry and Soda's shadow and decides to be his own person, he starts to hang out with Curly and thats when things go downhill.


-Ponyboys Gold-

by Cloud

(Enjoy and Sorry for all Errors)

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We get these pills to swallow

How they stick in your throat

Taste like Gold

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Watcha do to me no one knows

"Now kid all ya gotta do is jump over that fence, slash the tires on that Chevy and run back, I'm going to be doing the other ones around the lot. Ya know what to do?" Curly's voice was but a whisper and his face shadowed over, the dark night only lighted by the one street lamp near the lot he was talking about.

I knew right then after he asked me if I understood that I shouldn't even consider doing this, it could cost Darry's guardianship but I couldn't wimp out now, I had days in advance to tell Curly it was a bad idea and now that I'm here I mine as well of told Curly yes.

I nod and quickly crawl up and over the tall barbed fence and quickly run in a crouched position with the sharp 8 inch dagger in my hand that Curly lent to me. I wince as my shoes crunch the ground beneath them, I try to be as quiet as I can as I run up to the red Chevy and slash the left front tire and the left back tire and watch as they deflate.

I heard someone running, I quickly turn and realize its Curly running from the other car we planned on destroying and all the while he is shouting something. As quick as my body knows how I run and hop the fence and join Curly's stride and laugh along with him as we make our way back home. We just got back at the Socs and it was just the beginning of our weekend.

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"I spray painted the whole front windshield and back shield, Socs won't know what hit'em." Curly barks a laugh as we relax at his house. "Got that dagger Pon?"

"Yeh, here." I quickly whip it out and hand it to him. "Where did ya get that anyway?" I ask, the dagger went through the tires like butter making my mind imagine just what it could do to a person.

"Tim bought it off some hunting buddy of his, pretty tuff aint it?" He laughs and stabs the torn couch.

"Yeh, tuff. I better head back home, Darry'll kill me."

"Later kid."

I never had the intention of hanging out with Curly or even being friends with him, but after a fight with Steve I couldn't handle being around the regular gang.

"Dontcha have other friends?" Steve hisses while Soda gets in the shower. "We have dates tonight and all you're gonna do is screw that up if you tag a long!"

"_Soda doesn't mind me 'tagging along'!" I hiss back and push him._

"_Oh you're in for it now kid!" Steve grabs hold of my collar and shoves me up against the wall. "Soda is too nice to tell ya ta shove it and hang somewhere else that's why. And push me again and I'll kick your ass despite Soda or Darry." He lets me go and stomps out of the house to smoke. _

_Two-bit comes in right then and asks what the matter is while looking around for some food. _

I don't know why what Steve said bothered me, maybe it was cause I knew that Soda was trying his best to help me be included and I have been getting impatient about being Darry and Soda's younger brother, I want to be just Ponyboy not a tag a long.

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"Where have you been Ponyboy? It's twelve." Darry looks up from the bills on the table and removes his reading glasses. Its hard to remember he is my brother sometimes.

I shrug, not going to tell him my new friendship, if you can call it that, with Curly.

"Soda was wondering where you went, thought you were gonna go out with them tonight, so where were you?"

"Just out Darry, nothing bad." I walk outside to the front porch again and take out a smoke and start puffing on it, the guys were prolly have a kick without him, maybe Soda was thinking about telling him to shove it soon anyway.

No, I can't think like that, Soda's not like Steve… but maybe it is time for Soda to be more care free, not have to worry about him so much. I sigh and watch as Two-bit, Soda and Steve walk up the street, they were all laughing.

"Oy, Pony, where did you gallop too?" Two-bit laughs and ruffles my hair. I laugh and shove him away.

"Yeh Pon, everything okay? We went to the movies and we thought you were coming." Soda smiled nevertheless and sits beside him.

I shrug, avoiding eye contact from Steve, "Just went around. Ya know?" I smile and laugh when I think of the Socs look on their faces when-

"Whose the girl Pony!?" I get a shove from Soda and Two-bit stops imitating a scene from the movie.

"Huh?" I laugh and shake my head. "No, no girl."

"I knew it! Boys a fag!" Steve barks and I jump up whipping out my blade.

Two-bit holds his hands up and Soda yells at Steve.

"Put the blade away kid, you know Steve." Two-bit pats my back but I shrug him off.

Steve glares at me as I put away my blade. "Steve why do you have to pick on Ponyboy? And Pony, don't take out your blade unless your willing to use it." Soda smiles and claps my back.

Steve mumbles and glares at the dirt, "Well now that the mood has been killed." Two-bit moans and walks to his car. "Better head home to my ma, see ya guys tomorrow."

"Remember, I'm 8 to 2 at The DX!" Sodapop says as Two-bit peals out waving.

"Steve you staying?" Steve shakes his head and I decide I should head in.

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The next morning, which is a Saturday I decide to go to the movies just to catch the latest flick. Everyone has been bragging about this one and once you miss a movie its hard to catch it again.

Darry is at work and so is Soda and that leaves me somewhat relieved, no stern talking directed my way and no Soda to pout at me.

The worst part about Soda, he can make you smile when you didn't want to. It always infuriates me but by the time I'm smiling I can't be mad at him.

I'm halfway to the movies when Curly walks up to me, oh boy.

"Heya Pones. Tell your brother bout what we did Friday?" He smirks, and I shake my head no. "Well why not? Tim was proud that's for sure, though I didn't tell him bout the blade so don't say nothing to Dar bout that kay?"

I sigh and roll my eyes. "I'll tell Dar what I did on Friday when I want to feel a good ass kicking Curly." I kick a rock and wonder what it would be like to have a brother like Tim. I shiver.

Somehow we ended up walking to the DX, how out feet just brought us there I'm still wondering about.

"Kid what ya doing here?" Steve grounds out while putting on a new windshield on a familiar car. He sets down the other windshield that had Curly's handiwork all over it.

"Pony!" Curly hits my shoulder and starts laughing hysterically "This is great!" He walks over to the mustang.

I laugh as well. Steve glares at me.

I cross my arms and look around paranoid, if Curly wasn't careful… boy we will be in serious shit.

"You little shit!" A soc walks around, "It was you! You little fuck, you're dead!" He pulls out a blade and Curly immediately pulls out his.

"Come on then! Try and gut me and we'll see whose on the ground begging for their mom!"

Just then the boss of the DX and Sodapop come out in a rush to see the commotion, Soda immediately looks over at me and runs over as if to be my hero.

I sigh, nothing is gonna happen, the soc isn't that stupid. Curly however…

"Whats going on?" The boss asks the soc who hastily puts away his blade.

"He did this to my car!"

Curly scoffs and I let out a laugh, which ends in the soc glaring at me.

"You have proof?"

The soc glares, fuming with hatred, I could feel the heat that's for sure and the boss sends me and Curly away to end the conflict.

Soda hastily warns me to go straight home and stay inside until he gets home before he goes back to work.

I promise him but end up following Curly home.

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"I find it funny." I sigh and crack open a beer.

Curly looks over at me lazily and takes another sip of his beer.

"You know, just funny, everything is funny now. But death will never be funny."

"Don't go all psycho shit on me kid."

I nod, as long as me and Curly are good we are all set.

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I walk in soakin wet when Soda comes up to me with fire in his eyes, I back up against the door, usually it is Darry who gives me the look.

"Where were you? I told you to come back home! After seeing that soc pull a blade… do you know how worried I've been?" His voice gets higher as he talks and he looks bout ready to strangle me, I see Steve walk into the room holding a beer and glaring at me.

"What you got something to say Steve?" I snarl.

"Maybe I do! You worry your brothers all the time and show no concern how you make them feel or affect them, they work to feed and bathe your ass!" Steve yells while Soda gets into my face.

"Don't change the subject! This is about you! Were you with Curly when he did that to the socs car?"

"No, I wasn't."

"Your lying, and you were drinking."

I scoff and push him aside and he grabs my arm and pushes me hard into the wall. Normally I would have been stunned, but tonight I'm just tired. I shove him back and suddenly Steve is behind me locking my arms behind my back. I start kicking and growling.

"Pony knock it off!" Soda yells while Steve slams me to the floor, he lets me go and I snap my fist into his face.

Steve lets out a yelp as he's hit and starts cursing words, suddenly Soda is holding Steve back while I'm on the floor laughing myself to tears.

I just punched Steve, and it felt amazing.

"Pony, go to your room, now." I get up swaying a little and I sniff and shake my head.

Soda lets Steve go who rubs the side of his face. "Pony, I swear to God I'll-"

"You'll what Soda? Call Social Services? Tell'em I'm bein a bad bad boy?" The words left my mouth before I could think them and I feel guilt build in my stomach like a brick shit house.

Steve glares. "Is that whatcha want kid? To go far away from here, maybe never see your brothers again? Perhaps get put in a bad home and get abused every night? Is that whatcha want?" He snaps and his eyes pierce right into mine, Soda being the kind brother makes a small noise for Steve to stop.

"He's drunk Steve, let'em sleep it off he doesn't know what he's saying."

"We never got that excuse so neither should he Soda! He wants to be a grownup then let him be treated like one."

I clench my fists and storm out of the house slamming the door shut, "Pony?"

Darry gets out of his truck, his face in shock before turning fierce. "What did you do?" He asks instead of 'what happened?' no it was 'what did YOU do?' I glare and I take off into a sloppy walk.

I can feel it, myself swerving, trying hard not to stumble but I can't help it. Firm hands grab my arms and immediately know who it is, I turn and look up to find Darry.

"You're drunk and you're coming home. Now." I sigh and follow him obediently, Darry barks at Steve to head home or come back in a little while until the storm clear.

Storm meaning lecture, storm meaning family meeting, storm meaning Ponyboy is going to get grounded for the rest of his unfortunate life.

"Where did you get the alcohol Ponyboy?"

Great, interrogation time!

"I paid a guy to buy me some." I lie through my teeth.

"Who?"

"Dally." I smile while saying his name; it felt good to act like he was still alive.

"Pony, please… don't." Soda says who was standing next to Darry leaning against the counter.

Darry sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "Do you want to go to a boys home Pony?"

My smirk vanishes. "Do you want me too?" Darry smashes his hands against the wood table and glares at me.

"If I wanted you to I wouldn't have left school, I wouldn't have sacrificed MY life to give YOU one! I know you are still in limbo from their death but we have to move on Pony." I feel lousy, I know where he is coming from but that's not the problem.

"That was then Dar, you made the choice then, but now… do you want me to leave now?"

"Pony, tell us what's bothering you, why are you acting like this? Talk to me." Soda whispers the last part, his eyes watering and I have to look away.

"I… I'm tired Soda. I'm going to bed."

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"Lets do something different." Curly says pretty hyper and takes out a pill bottle.

I look on skeptically and wonder for a brief moment. "Uh… what is that?"

"Pain pills." He grins. "My ma had surgery bout two weeks back but didn't take'em all. Found these this morning." He smirks and pops off the cap.

"How many are we supposed to take… and this isn't exactly tough Curly."

"I hear people have a good time on them though. Here." He puts two in my hand and I stare at the white tablets.

"I dunno, what can happen?"

"Listen, my mom took two and she didn't OD and she looked pretty high when she took'em. Whats to lose?"

I shrug and look down, hanging with Curly most have lowered my IQ because I haven't been bright as of late, and Dar and Soda… hell all the guys told me never to get involved with drugs. Even Dally.

But I'm Ponyboy. I make my own decisions.

I glare and toss the pills into my mouth and swallow it with beer like I would do with Tylenol.

I can't remember if it was five or ten minutes but I started to feel it, bliss. I couldn't really keep my mind straight, I felt fuzzy and nice and my eyes felt like I had tunnel vision.

I get up and stumble a bit and laugh at Curly his eyes were drooping and he was smiling like he was having a grand time. Curly was right, this is great.

I look at my watch and notice the time, but I can't and won't go home like this. I lay down on the couch and yawn and go to sleep.

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"Kid, kid!" I feel someone shaking me. "Go home!" I look up to see Tim glaring down at me.

I immediately get up and stumble for my jacket.

"Hey." I look up and he stares into my eyes, "You high or something?" He snaps and I shake my head, "Fine get the hell out."

I rush out still feeling the medicine, how long was I asleep? Couldn't be long, its still light and…stuff.

The walk isn't long and suddenly I'm at my front door. Two-bit jumps on the porch scaring me only my body feels like it's going on slow motion.

"Pony?" He looks at me and his eyes get wider, I immediately snap my head down and turn around. "Hey!" Two-bit turns me around with a frown.

"Pony!?" Soda opens the door and stops, he takes in the position Two-bit and I are in, Steve as usual right behind him.

I sigh and storm into the house, only my feet feel light and I don't think I'm actually stomping.

"He's high." I hear Two-bit mumble and I swerve around, the feeling of fear and ice gripping my throat but I'm still in the moment it feels like, like nothing is wrong.

"I'm not, really." My mellow voice doesn't help and I smile, wondering if Curly will give me more.

Steve laughs and Soda punches his arm. "This isn't funny Steve!"

"Uh yeh, it is, dumb kid can't do anything right."

"Steve cool it." Two-bit snaps.

"Pony, what are you on?" Soda asks concern spreading his features.

"I… have no clue."

Steve rolls his eyes and goes into the kitchen and Two-bit and Soda stand in front of me with horror stricken faces.

"Are you on weed, cocaine, pills? What?"

I think for a minute. "Uh, weed." And Two-bit shakes his head. "We would have smelled it, we all tried weed at one point in time." Soda whacks Two-bit against his head.

"Pony, this is important, we need to know!"

I glare. "Why? I'm not dying!"

"You'll be dead when Darry find out bout this. Dead pony, we'll have to bury you near the barn or send you to the glue factory where some other drug addict can sniff your ass!" Steve laughs while eating left over chocolate cake.

"At least I'll be with better company shithead!" I snap.

"Steve I'm going to make you leave if one more fucking comment comes out of your mouth." Soda glares, he grabs my arms and shakes me. "Please pony, please don't… I can't lose you too."

We all go silent as Soda sinks to his knees and sobs into his hands.

"I can't take this Pony, I don't know why you are like this, why you're mad at me. I don't want to lose you, not after mom and dad and now Dally and Johnny, I can't." His words were getting mumbled together and my mind was half aware of all the stuff around me, I was trying to concentrate though.

I sink to my knees too and I hug Soda. "I, I wont do it again. I'm sorry. I'll… get a new start tomorrow, kay Sodapop?"

"Come on Steve," Two-bit grabs Steves arm and pulls. "We will be here tomorrow, you guys just have a moment."

Then it was us, and soon… the monster named Darry who would know doubt find out.

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Darry didn't find out the way I expected, Tim told Darry after he found Curly. And Curly is now sporting two black eyes… I however am sporting house arrest until school is over which will be a month.

I'm anxious for more pills; though it won't happen in a while but I can't stop thinking about the freedom I felt in my mind when I took them. I wonder if Curly felt the same thing.

I sigh and get back to my homework, I've been studying like a maniac to try and make it up to Darry and Soda.

The doorbell rings and I get up, who rings the doorbell anymore I think incredulously and as soon as I turn the doorknob and pull I regret it, the only people who ring doorbells are Social Services and I wince and I start crying on the inside.

It's too late to close the door, they know I'm home.

"Hello Ponyboy." The short and stout women smiles and peeks in rudely while I don't bother to say anything. Darry and Soda are both at work, no one watching me… I'm going to assume that makes Darry look bad and I try to think of something.

"Is Darryl home?" She lets herself in and I close the door. " No mam."

"Oh, he isn't, is Sodapop… home?" She asks her eyes blinking and I can tell she still finds our names horrendous.

This lady has been our social worker for two years now and loves to make surprise visits, and right now I am glad I haven't touched any ounce of alcohol or pills. Speaking of alcohol…

"Whats this? Alcohol near a minor…tut tut." She shakes her head and writes down something on her not pad and enters the kitchen.

I look down at the half of six pack on the floor she just past, and I pray to god that Two-bit doesn't storm in talking crazy while this women is here.

I quickly go into the kitchen, my stomach dropping as she is going through all our cabinets.

"Are you allowed to do this?" She turns and smiles. "Why yes I am, but lets get to the point shall we Pony." She takes a seat at the kitchen table and brushes a curl away from her face.

I continue to stand looking down at her, I feel the fear surround me. This women can take everything away from me.

"Well, take a seat, I have some questions."

"Right." I sit down.

"Pony, has Darryl ever abused you in any way?" She asks with a sickeningly sweet voice that can pass off as concern but I don't buy it.

"No."

"There are different types of abuse Pony, there is mental and physical."

I cut her off. "No mam."

"Has Soda touched you or harmed you?"

I feel repulsed by the question and glare. "No."

"Do you feel safe?" She asks quickly.

"." I ground out, she tried to trick me and her bright red lips curl up.

"I see. Well… if you are sure." She scans me up and down. "The thought of you being alone by yourself does not please me. There are many families willing Ponyboy, who will give you love and support. There is no need to be afraid." She looks around and notices a hole in the wall the size of a fist. Her eyes grow wide and looks at me. "Yes, well, here is my card. You call me for anything and we can carry along." She smiles and shows herself out.

I look down at the card and as soon as the door slams shut and the sound of an engine turns on I sink to the floor and I cry.

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I crinkle the card in my fist and throw it hard and go back into the living room, I sit down and put my head into my book, my concentration is gone and I have a test tomorrow. Some where between looking dully at my book and thinking about the stupid women I fell asleep only to be awakened by the front door being kicked open.

I jump up; its dark and I think our house is being robbed.

"Easy Ponyboy! It's just me!" Soda says flicking on the light switch.

I sigh and sit down on the couch. "Why are you in the dark?"

"Where's Steve?" I ask and Soda raises and eyebrow and goes into the bathroom.

"He's home, but he's coming back. We're going to a movie want to come?" He asks while taking a leak.

"Grounded 'member?" I mumble hating the feeling of cotton mouth which I get after naps. Soda comes out and sits down next to me.

"I'm sure we can convince him to let you out of the cage, it's almost the end of the month."

"But I have school tomorrow and you know Darry."

Sodapop sighs and leans back and stares at the ceiling.

"Whats wrong Soda?"

"Pony… I…" Soda looks at me with pained eyes and just then Steve walks in.

"Soda I just told my father and he practically kicked me out telling me to die in Nam, can you believe that son of a bitch!" Steve yells his eyes kinda glossy but my mind doesn't register an insult and I stare at Soda who stares at me. I must have went on and on for hours because by the time I tried to convince him not to go we missed the movie and it was going on midnight. We held each other and I asked him to promise me.

"So, please, please don't die over there." I practically choke on my words, the thought just killing me.

He lowers his head. "I won't Pony."

"Look at me, look me in the eyes Soda and promise me! Please, you can't I would kill myself if you did!"

"No! You listen here Ponyboy, I promise to do the best I can but if something should happen you have to promise ME that you wont do anything stupid. You and Darry'll have to move on. Ya hear me!" He shakes me and I just sob into his arms.

The rest of the night Soda, Steve and myself drink and chat about everything and anything.

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"No Soda! No no no!" I hear Darry cursing and his feet pacing the floor shaking the whole house.

Soda tries to comfort him, promising to safely return, that he could just as easily die here than there. Its no use to us though, we see the death rates of Vietnam go up everyday on the television and in the newspaper.

I leave my room and find Soda hugging Darry, Two-bit sitting on our couch with his head in his hands.

Darry looks over at me and we both know that our hardships have just started.

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It has been a year since Soda and Steve left, no word, no mail. At first we thought it would take a week or so because of the traveling and to get prepared but nothing, not one piece of mail.

Darry started working more than ever, he was never home, we barely talked. I constantly tried to busy myself and not think about Soda and try to keep my mind elsewhere like girls, pills, movies, doing shit with Curly.

Things started to go downhill once me and Curly met up shortly after school ended. We would stay up all night drinking Tims beer who would beat us up for it later.

We would lurk in socs territory and spray paint their cars, houses, mailboxes… one time we managed to sneak up to the fence of one nice house where a certain soc lived and spray painted their dog from the other side of the fence.

We did this all high, after a while the pain killers affect wore off and we started to get stronger stuff. I hardly knew who I was by the end of the night, but that was great, I had no …

Until I was caught spray painting the Social Worker ladies front steps alone one night. I have never been so unfortunate. That night she brought me home, woke Darry… or Darryl as she calls him and told him that the camels back was broken and I was going to a boys home soon as possible. Which did happen.

I wasn't in the boys home for long, I was put in a young rehab center after they found out I wasn't sick, I was just going through withdrawal. "Because going through withdrawal isn't the same as being sick"… yeah they had no sympathy but I don't blame them.

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"Hey, Pillboy." I glare at the other kid that I shared the room with.

"What, numbnuts?" I don't even bother to remember this kids name.

"When you getting out? Did they tell you?" He asks anxiously, obviously hoping I leave soon.

"No they just said soon, like last time." I roll my eyes and sit on my bed and take out my pad of paper and start writing to Darry.

_-Darry, I'm so sorry, if I could go back,_

I scribble and scratch it out, then deciding to write something different. The kid on the other bed stares at me as I can see from my peripheral view.

I turn and glare. "What?"

"Nothin." He says innocently then turns his back toward me. I hate that.

I think back to when Darry found out about the spray painting.

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I stumble up our porch steps, the short lady holding my shirt in a fist like she could hold me if I tried to get away. I think she just wanted to show she was an authoritative figure.

She raps her other fist loudly against the door.

Five minutes pass and I hear Darry curse, he must have looked in my bedroom and found I wasn't there.

"Hello?" The greeting dies from his lips as he looks at me, clearly disheveled and the mean lady who clearly just got out of bed by her unkept hair and pajamas under her flannel jacket but she didn't seem to mind at two in the morning.

"Joan." He says and looks at me then back to her.

"Darryl, nice to finally see you again, I've made many attempts to meet you the past month but each time it was alone with Ponyboy here." She smirks looking smug.

Darry grows white as a sheet and tries to cover up his anger but seems to grow two inches taller trying to look confident.

"I'm sorry about that Joan, really I am, my time at work has kept me from being around, if you called we could have-"

"Oh but that takes away the surprise dear. And I just found this boy on my front steps spray painting them black. Now I know you have a job but you obviously cannot handle this boy as much as you or Ponyboy thought. Isn't that right Ponyboy? You need to be watched over or else things like this happens." She finally lets go of my shirt and I look down with guilt and shame and because facing Darry and seeing his crestfallen face, it would kill me.

"Give me another chance, please, we haven't heard from our brother whose in Vietnam and it's stressing Ponyboy out. I just need to have more time, I didn't know he was…" Darry shakes his head, choking on his words and at a loss at how to make what happened better.

"Darryl, I will be here tomorrow bright and early please have him ready. We will discuss the arrangements tomorrow. Good night." And with that she left.

I stand still and look at Darry who notices I'm high and then looking older than I have ever seen Darry numbly steps back inside. I follow and shut the door behind me and he turns slowly around and looks at me.

"This… is what you wanted… right?"

Tears prick my eyes and he walks back to his room and shuts his door, I wait, feeling like everything that happened wasn't real. But the sobs coming from Darry's room reminded me.

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'Darry, I'm so sorry, I miss you and if you ever forgive me… I won't know how to thank you.I love you and you were more than I could have asked for.- Ponyboy.'

I sigh and press my palms into my sore eyes, if I could redo everything, I would never have taken those pills, never would have started to hang out with Curly.

I fold the note and stick it in my pocket waiting for the lead nurse to come in and check us so I can ask her to send it. Usually there are days to send mail but if you are good they make exceptions.

I've only been in rehab for two weeks and I don't feel better, or free or anything. I feel drained and upset and just homesick. I miss Sodapop, Johnny, Dally, Mom, Dad, Darry, everyone even Steve. I don't miss the pills that's for sure.

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Joan picks me up from the rehab center and brings me back to her office.

"I'm here to tell you that you are going to a couple who have no kids, lives on the other side of town, very successful and have been looking for a child to help. They donate and are very sweet!" She says and shows me their picture.

I stare at them, they look awfully sweet, almost too sweet. "Why me? Why not a little girl who just lost her parents and is only four or something?" I ask, not making much sense of everything.

"They looked at your file and find you attractive and sweet and they want to help you." I stare in shock and disbelief… this isn't right. Something isn't right with this.

I look down at their picture and feel their eyes staring at me, reading me… tearing me apart. The man looks tall, black hair, blue eyes, wrinkles, glasses, perfect teeth, crooked smile. The women had long brown hair, no birthmarks but two dimples on either side of her cheek and brown eyes. Prolly both in their late thirties. They looks nice… nice and socy.

I laugh and Joan smiles in delight as if I accepted the couple.

My smile falls off my face and I stare. "No."

She tilts her head and caps her pen. "No choice Ponyboy."

"Great." I storm out of her office and sit down in the hallway; a moment alone is a moment of heaven.

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They came and got me from the boys home, Joan never let me have the chance to call Darry, instead said she would take care of it, and that I need to try and forget Darry for a while and worry bout myself.

It's my first week with the Kregs, they are nice… too nice. I'm waiting for the husband to start yelling at me or the wife to lose her cool and smack me. It never comes and slowly I start to hate myself because I start to love them, I start to feel like I'm falling into the depths of Stockholm Syndrome.

" Hey Mary?" I ask my adopted mother who I don't consider a mother but she's always trying to get me to call her mom it's uncomfortable at times.

She comes from the kitchen, their house is something amazing and I keep telling myself not to get used to it but I fear I already am.

"Pony?" She asks sweetly bringing me a glass of Pepsi. I take it gratefully even though I have asked her to not bother, I can get my own drink but she insists.

I haven't asked but I figure now is the time. "Can I call Darry, my brother." I look at my Pepsi.

"Oh…" Her voice is sad and I look up, her eyes shocked. "I didn't know you had a brother."

"What? Of course you did. You looked at my file, didn't ya?"

She frowns and looks about ready to call Sam, her husband who is at his job. He works at a corporate company that advertises mainly food products.

"I didn't…" She trails off and scurries away back into the kitchen.

Soo…. I think and follow her. "So I can call him?"

"Is he out of town, has he hurt you? Is that why you are here? How old is he?"

I shake my head out of confusion and anger, "Whoa… wait. I'm only in a boys home because I got in trouble, my brother was a great guardian."

"I can't believe she lied to us. And you were never abused? You had a sister didn't you?"

I stare at her; did she read the right file? Joan wouldn't make up a false file on me to get me out of her hair… would she?

"Listen, that's wrong. I don't have a sister. My parents died, my brother watched me, I got in trouble and my social worker brought me to a boys home. I don't know what you saw." I trail off as she is already dialing Sam no doubt.

I don't bother to listen to her and I head up to my room, several minutes later I hear the doorbell and its Joan, I notice this as I peek over the railing and see Mary whispering to the social worker.

"You get him out of here now. You disgust me, lying to us like that. I'm calling your manager."

Joan replies back with a small but threatening whisper that I can't understand.

"Ponyboy!" Joan yells. "Get your stuff, your leaving!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Joan was fired. Unsurprisingly. Now I'm stuck with this older women, another social worker, who looks like she should be retired, her hair is short and gray, she is tall and sick looking and wrinkles cover her whole face while her eyes are gray as hell that I swear can kill a person.

"Ponyboy… what a name." She sits leisurely behind her desk while flipping through my folder.

"You're how old again?"

"Seventeen."

"Yes, well, not many look for boys your age unless they are desperate." She eyes me up and down as I stand in front of her and finally I take a seat not waiting for her offer.

I cough after ten minutes of silence and she looks over, her voice raspy. "You will stay here till someone wants you. I can't say much more than that. I'll contact some families, maybe we will find you one before you're eighteen." She smiles but she is only happy about her day ending early.

She brings me back to the home and I sit in a different bed, my heart is somewhat broken. I can't believe Mary just tossed me out like trash, right after being nice and giving me soda. I'm not that bad am I?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next thing I know I'm in some old ruddy looking guy's house and his hillbilly wife is constantly giggling, and he's constantly smacking her. The women has a mental problem.

"Pony eh?" He asks twirling his beard between his fingers while sitting on his couch.

His wife behind him giggles and snorts. "It be PonyBOY Rude not Pony!"

I smack my hand against my face and scowl.

"Hey."

I look up and see the old rusty guy staring at me.

"You can hit'er any time." He starts cracking up but I know he isn't joking.

"Great, can I borrow your phone?" He nods and I quickly take it before he says no and dial our house number.

Ring.

Ring.

"H-Hello?" A lady answers sounding half asleep. I quickly hang up, taking a deep breath and I look around. Darry has a girlfriend. He's moved on…he's never had a girlfriend before and now he does because me and Soda aren't there.

I look at the phone. I should let Darry know anyway… let him know that I'm alright and fine and he doesn't have to worry, that I'm… that I, that I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.

I start to chant this in my head while still holding the phone, my eyes squeeze shut and everything, I'm shaking, I can feel it, I'm so upset and I'm so tired and I am worried to death Soda is dead.

"Hey, hey Ponyboy!" The ladies high shriek pierces my ears and she gives me a hug. "I'm ya mama now Pony pony boy!" She laughs and lets go.

"I'm not your son." I glare and she tilts her head and runs and tugs on the old mans jacket. "Rude, he's bein mean ta me!" He smacks her and barks at her to get a beer.

I feel bad now, it just aint right to hit a women. I sigh, the whole atmosphere feels tense, not to mention the house is worse than ours. Its falling apart and there is a small kitchen, and one bedroom and on toilet and a living room. The shower is outside, the place seems like a creepy house a kidnapper would reside in. The house is far out in the woods, and how these people ended up qualified to take me home is unbelievable.

The lady with mental problems starts to throw a fit of some sort on the floor and the guy, Rude stands over her. "List'n here ya little wench, this kid is gonna mak'us some dough ya hear? Now quit it!" He kicks her side and she is left trembling on the floor sniffling and such.

I start to grow fearful, what did this guy mean by 'make us some dough'? I'm not doin anything!

That night it was impossible to sleep.

"Oh yeas Rude Yeas Oh! Oh!"

"Thas righ bitch, ya take it, take it hard." Rude grunts and I hear the bed slamming against the wall.

They are in their bedroom.

While I'm on the couch, I get up; I quietly make my way to the door while they are preoccupied. I wasn't staying and no way in hell was the old lady working in a little office far from here going to stop me.

As soon as the door accidentally slams shut I go sprinting and use my leg force to keep running, bushes scrape my legs and I narrowly avoid tree by making out their shadows, I of course, have no idea where I am, it is completely black out and I am scared out of my mind.

"Kid!" I hear a holler and I stop running, should I go back? I look down, am I even on the dirt road? I hear his footsteps crinkle the leafy ground beneath us.

I hear loud breaths and suddenly I'm tackled to the dirt before I can think no more. He caught up to me fast.

"Boy what in gods name ya think your doin?!"

"I had a nightmare, I didn't know where I was." I whimper the best to my ability, if he thought I was running away he would put me on lockdown… this way he won't think anything of it.

He helps me up, "Shucks kid, ya scared me for a mom'nt." I feel nasty and gross and want him off me.

He struggles up, the man is in good shape for fifty something with a beer belly and holds his hand out but I pretend not to see it and get up on my own.

"Lets head back, Suzie will be asleep so be quiet boy." He grips my arm and drags me back. I get the feeling he knows I was trying to run. I keep my arm limp and try my hardest not to trip or run into a tree.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Ya alone now boy, you've been abandon'd by your family and frians but were with ya now so stop runnin. Kay?"

I nod. I'm broken. Soda and Steve are dead. What's the point now? I am alone. Even this guy who has only known me for less than a week and has an IQ of negative one can see that.

He grins and pats my back and hands me a beer.

"Drink up kid, we 'ave work ta do." He goes into his room and I hear shuffling and he comes out with some medicine bottles and I shake my head setting down the beer.

"What wrong kid? Don dig drugs?" He wipes his arm sleeve under his nose.

I stare and wonder what it is. "It'll make ya feel betta boy. Jus relax." He hands me three pills and hands me back my soda.

Soda… I start to tear up. He would hate me right now… but he isn't even here.

No one can help me, and what point is there.

I take the three small pills and drink it down with the beer.

"Atta boy! It what I give Suzie ta calm her down befo' I fuck'er." He rubs my shoulder and I back out of his grasp, my eyes wide.

"Don look at me like tha boy, I ain no poof!" He laughs and sits on the couch and starts playing with himself. I look away with disgust but can't go far, whatever he gave me is working its charm and I fall to the floor looking around.

Everything is all fuzzy, the grunts coming from Rude sounds like a bear! I laugh and look at the floor, a little ant crawls across the wooden panels. I take my thumb and squish it, the crunch noise echoes.

"Echo!" I shout and hear the echo in my head. "Haha! Echo, Echo!" I slap the floor and that echoes too. The room feels wider and I stand up and lean against the wall for support.

"Everythin is moving! Oh my god!" I trip over something and hear laughter flush through my mind, I look up and see Rude bending down to me, his dick waving in my face, bugs crawling over his pubic hair.

"Ah!" I jump back and pick up a glass and toss it at him. "Get away! Get away!" 'way'way'way'way… echo'echo'echo.

I trip and crawl to the bathroom, the floor moving so I move nowhere.

"Boy!" 'oy'oy'oy! "Get some dog!" 'og'og'og'og!

"No!" I shake and struggle. "No! Please no!"

I black out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I wake up on the floor; its bright out and I don't hear anyone at first. I taste blood in my mouth and I panic, where did the blood come from? I spit it out and my tongue hurts. I must have bit my tongue.

The front door is open and Suzie is making noises in the other room. I get up and stumble against the wall and hold my breath. My eyes darting all over, the room dark but the small cracks in the blinds hit the walls.

The brisk air, must be morning, I can smell the dew as well as nasty must and rotting wood. I walk out of the house and take off down the trail, now that I'm able to see I keep low and try to avoid branches and twigs.

Where is Rude? Was he with Suzie? What was Suzie doing?

I don't care. I think, and I truly don't! These people are crazy fuckers.

I run for what feels like forever and I get to a high way and start taking off down the road I think is the way back home. Once it starts to get dark when I finally hit some gas station and a small strip mall, I run up to the phone booth and pick up the phone, it works. I cheer and search my pockets, nothing.

I sigh and go to the cashier. "Sir, can I please borrow some change for the phone. I'm lost and I don't even know where I am." I croak and he must take pity on my disheveled look

And hands me change.

I run back to the phone and quickly throw the cash in and punch in my phone number.

"Hello?" Darry's deep voice thrills me to no end.

"Darry! Oh Darry I gotta come back home! You don't even know! I don't even know! Can you come get me!?" I shout frantically.

"Pony! Pony, tell me where you are." His voice is calm and collected and I wonder if he wants me back.

I hear someone in the background. "Whose that?"

"I don't know where I am, uh… hold on!"

I run back into the store flashing the phone a quick glance to make sure no one hangs the call on me.

"Sir, where are we?"

"Sand Springs, Firsten Street."

I nod him thanks and go back to the phone. "Darry!"

"Pony!"

"Listen Darry I'm in Sand Springs on Firsten Street! I'm alone and I'm freaking out Dar!"

"I know Pony, everything will be fine you hear me, stay calm and find some place to stay around the area. Name a place nearby so I can pick you up in an hour or so. Sand Springs isn't far."

"Uhm there's a gas station called Sunny, I'm at it right now."

"I'll pick you up there!"

The line goes flat and the operator comes on. 'If you would like to continue your call please insert one more-'

I slam the phone down and sit behind the gas station. I'm paranoid that if I sit out front Rude will find me, so I keep quiet and look out for myself, I really wish Johnny and Dally were around.

I close my eyes and try and rest after the first ten minutes.

"Hey, hey kid!" Someone is shaking me and I look up and see the cashier from earlier.

He looks down. "Some guy is looking for ya, thought you should know." He whispers and turns to leave.

I grasp his arm. "Wait, what did he say, what's his name, what does he look like?" I ask, afraid and ready to make a run for it.

" He's bout six something, young, askin if he's seen his brother. You two kinda look alike. You in trouble?"

"No, no. Thanks!"

I run around and see Darry pacing back and forth, next to him is Sodapop who abruptly turns from him and looks at me.

"Pony!"

"Ponyboy!"

Tears run down my face but I don't care. I run into their arms and hold tight. I'm home at last.

One breath away and  
there you will be  
So young and carefree  
Again you will see  
That place in time...so gold  
xxx

And leave a ray of sun


End file.
